What were those things? What came just before that moment and how did it make you feel afterwards?īeing “enough” means that you have a sense of worthiness based on the fact that you’re a human being. If you’re trying to be less self-critical, ask yourself at the end of the day if there were any moments when you were self-critical. Language is important in helping us heal whether that’s connecting with other people, finding somebody you can trust to talk to or you can write your thoughts down, whether with pen or paper, on a computer, on a voice memo - as long as you get the thoughts out of your head and start to see them for what they are. Again, come at this with curiosity and then practice the ability to let these thoughts move on and only hold onto the thoughts that are helping you. Ask yourself if you’re comparing up or comparing down, what’s the impact on you. Ask yourself what kind of people are you comparing yourself to do today. But what can be worked on in therapy is stepping back and noticing that natural urge. We can’t eliminate comparing ourselves to others. The need to compare ourselves to others was more adaptive when we lived in small communities - it was survival at one time. However, we’re in a new moment where we have access to billions of people on social media and can rapidly compare ourselves to many people who are only putting their best foot forward. Our brains do this to see if we are living up to the expectations of our communities. It’s okay to feel dissatisfaction and then learn from it and move on and progress.Ĭomparing ourselves to others is tricky because we are built to do that as social beings. It could be a moment to admit that you’re not at your best or doing the best for yourself or your family or your career. It’s not unhealthy or disordered if you reach a period of your life where you are not okay with the person you are or the way that you are behaving. To have constant positive self-esteem would suggest that you’ve never made mistakes or done less than you’re capable of. We should look at what we feel, get to work on understanding why that is and how it can help us or whether it’s hindering us.
It’s important to turn towards feelings with curiosity before we just reflexively try to change it. But self-esteem is helpful in terms of that the way we feel about ourselves can be information - whether it’s positive or negative. The obsession to have “self-esteem” is not that helpful. ANXIETY BITES BITE-SIZED TAKEAWAYS FROM EPISODE #46 WITH GUEST DR.
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